But from the perspective of the laid-off side, let me add some comments to the article.  I’m not here to bitch and moan about being unemployed; instead, I’m going to bitch and moan about the “help” I’ve recently experienced:

• If you offer yourself as a sounding board, make good on it.  An acquaintance of mine who works in the field of human resources (and he knows who he is) IM’d me to tell me he’d be happy to speak with me, and offered his personal cell phone number.  Three friendly messages to him later, in as many weeks, has gotten me nowhere with him, because he hasn’t returned my calls. I have made it painfully clear in each message that I am not hitting him up for a job at his company, and that I merely have some specific questions regarding pursuing a job in human resources.  He’s even mentioned to a mutual friend that he needs to return my call.  I’m done with this networking attempt; not only am I pissed off he hasn’t made good on his offer, I’m astonished that he hasn’t had the common courtesy or professionalism to return my calls.
• Don’t be offended if I politely turn down your offer to procure a temporary job that pays $10.00 an hour.  I’m grateful for the offer, I truly am – what are friends for?  However, after taxes are taken out of that paycheck, I’ll net around $300…and the unemployment check I receive pays over $400 a week.  It’s financially ill-advised for me to take that work, because it takes time away from my current full-time job of seeking meaningful permanent employment, pays less than unemployment, and isn’t the career path I want – I stand nothing to gain from helping someone I don’t know move their office from one location to another.  If it were you asking for help with an office move, I’ll gladly volunteer over a weekend.  You don’t have to pay me, and I’ll do it because I like your company and like helping out a friend.
• If you ask me to come to lunch with you, I will turn you down – I really, really don’t have the resources.  It’s not that I don’t want to see you; I’m already isolated at home enough as it is in front of a frigging computer all day long.  It’s just that I really, really can’t afford even a gratuitous lunch now.  I have to save my shekels for laundry money, paying bills, gas for that coveted interview, possible parking fees, you get the idea.  And just because I’m being honest with you about my lack of funds does NOT mean I expect you to pay for lunch.  I expect you instead to a) offer it only if you’re in a position to do so, and most importantly, b) just understand.
• If you suggest a person through whom you think I can network, PLEASE ensure that that individual expects my email or call, and will respond.  Over 66% of jobs are gleaned through networking – I’m counting on this lead!  Have the conversation with your buddy prior to me making contact.  They won’t feel ambushed, and I won’t feel like an asshole.  Let them know I’m not asking them for employment, and that they’re doing both you and me a big favor by communicating with me.  I promise I won’t embarrass you either with stories of your big drunkety-drunk in college, or with halitosis.

I love what my friends have done for me in this enormously stressful time.  Thanks to all who’ve helped in their way  - lunch is on me when next I’m flush.

What’s different about this non-stop reporting is that there’s an alarmist flavor to it, and that Swine Flu is being compared with the Spanish influenza pandemic that wiped out 20 million people worldwide on the heels of World War I.  Hey, I don’t think flu is funny, nor do I think sitting on information about its virulence is a wise idea.  I’m just sayin’: enough with the damn Swine Flu reporting already.

We get it.  We’ve paid enough attention to know it’s uncharacteristically occurring in the spring, that it’s got some big body aches and gastro symptoms that accompany it, and that stockpiled Tamiflu is on its way to the states closest to the Mexican border in large quantities.  We know that the very young, the very old, and individuals with compromised respiratory systems should have first crack at the shots, to help stave off the worst of the virus.  We know frequently washing our hands helps prevent the spread of any kind of germ, as is avoiding public places unless necessary.  We know to stay home from work if we’re feeling crappy, and we know to invest in Johnson & Johnson stock as sales of Purell triple from this time last year.

What I find most interesting is that there hasn’t been any hard reporting from network medical consultants on reports of deaths in the U.S. from flu season last year to compare with H1N1’s rampage, so I did some poking around on the Net.  Here’s what I discovered:

The CDC couldn’t report flu deaths from 2007-2008.  http://www.cdc.gov/flu/about/qa/season.htm  The only statistic they give on their website is that of childrens’ deaths reported as of June 2008 (there were 83).

Only 1 confirmed death in the U.S has been reported, a child from Mexico who was vacationing with relatives in the Houston area.  As of May 1, officials could confirm only 397 cases of H1N1 in Mexico, where 908 had previously been suspected.  http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/02/health/02flu.html?hp  If the case number is lower, perhaps the world collective can rethink its perception of pandemic.

Bill Maher offered a statistic on flu deaths in the U.S. last year, on this week’s episode of Real Time With Bill Maher: 13,000.  (Don’t ask me what his source is – I don’t know.)  Okay, so here goes: 1 this year from Swine Flu; 13,000 last year from H1N1 (same strain as Swine Flu; different evolution).  Is the press doing more damage than good with its reporting?

Be smart, be happy, go play.  But don’t kiss your sister when she announces her engagement.

Yep, the man’s gonna switch parties because he wants to keep playing with the kids on the Capitol Hill playground. Lieberman did it, but he did it to the tune of “Miss Inpedendent” (all respect due Kelly Clarkson). That was Connecticut-ese for “I’m pissed at the Democrats for not having gotten me elected with Al, but I’m not so pissed that I’ll become a Republican…I’m just gonna go over here and eat an Independent sandwich.” -Said action successfully assured him Freaky McFreak status on the Hill, confirmed by his endorsement of John McCain during last year’s presidential campaign.

Yeah, yeah…Norm Coleman still gets to have his day in front of the Minnesota State Supreme Court to try to wrest the senate seat away from Al Franken, and Specter still has to win as a newly-minted Democrat in the fall, but Specter’s a shoo-in, and Minnesotans are sick of Coleman whining. All that to say the Senate balance may tip in favor of Democrats, a huge coup no matter where you stand.

Specter claims there are over 200,000 registered Republicans in Pennsylvania who switched parties in 2008, and he’s listening to their political re-awakening. What does this say about anyone who switches parties? That they’re fickle? -No. At least that’s not what my former boss meant when he voted for Obama, and he’d been a lifelong Republican-voting Conservative from New York. From Guantanamo to the 2008 Wall Street meltdown, from the war in Iraq to the Patriot Act, if you could name the congressional act or Presidential veto and it was linked to the Bush administration, he was supremely angry with it. He let his voice be heard on November 4 with the two-toned principle of Voting For the Opposition. He didn’t switch parties, but he also didn’t abstain from voting. I don’t know what’s more insulting: no vote from a previous supporting member, or the slap in the face that accompanies the vote for another party.

So Specter’s on to something here. If people like my boss, who were die-hard Republicans, became so inflamed by Bush/Cheney rhetoric that they jumped ship, there might be some more Republicans who’ll do the same to stay working in Congress. If members of the House follow Specter’s lead, the Democrats’ win could increase exponentially: a filibuster-proof Congress. Wouldn’t that be a sight?

-I’m not a parent, but I think I get the idea.  She initially uses reason to elicit desired behavior from her kids, issues stern warnings, and finally resorts to full-on threats to get their attention.  I can picture her at the end of a long work day, negotiating with her errant children, exhausted from everything she’s had to do to get through the day…and I really feel for her.  No one likes to come home to a couple of petulant munchkins who are selectively deaf.  She’s a single parent, with a deadbeat ex who doesn’t contribute, period, so she’s all on her own.  No wonder she feels like she’s inadvertently become a Mommy Mafioso.

I suggested taking away privileges: hit them where it hurts most.  No video games, no TV, no texting, no sleepovers, no nothin’.  I don’t know if it’s the ideal way of tapping into good behavior from a child, but I know it sure worked on me when I was little. 

Her fatigue isn’t the same kind of fatigue experienced by new mothers for the first year of a child’s life.  She’s well beyond the timeframe when she was most likely to try to pass the kid off to the Christmas tree, mistaking it for her husband.  Her world is one of being overworked and underpaid, working like hell to keep a roof over her head, yet loving her kids to pieces – and feeling unappreciated by them because they’re still too young to understand.  So now she’ll threaten them with an 8-year-old’s equivalent of having his kneecaps broken: life without Wii.  Thug mom, indeed.

I live 3000 miles away.  I can’t offer to take them off her hands for a few hours, and I can’t drop in to help out with something as simple as washing the car…but as I listened to her vent, I realized the best thing I could do was just that – listen.  And offer to bring a shovel.  She told me later, when all was calm, that it was the best thing I could have done for her.  Just call me her “goon friend.”

-for Elizabeth in Nashville

So when I got to the register today, on Earth Day, I pulled out my screaming yellow nylon shopping bag.  The cashier remarked that it smelled good (it was freshly-laundered), and that more people should be bringing their own bags.  I expressed surprise at this, on today of all days…what was the world coming to on Earth Day if people couldn’t for ONE DAY bring their own shopping bags?  That’s when she said, “yeah, one woman said she hadn’t won the weekly drawing, so she had quit bringing her own bag.”

Oh, for climate change’s sake.  This Valley Girl missed the entire point of bringing a reuseable bag with her.  I’ve been bringing my own bag with me now for two years to Trader Joe’s, writing my name every time on a little ticket stub, and throwing it in the mouth of the Kon Tiki god perched on the manager’s bay – and I haven’t won yet, either!  I don’t claim to be the smartest kid on the block, but even I connected the dots on this one.

So here’s to all of you who did something for the good of the planet today; I think we have a right to feel smug and superior today because of our collective effort.  We won the Trader Joe’s contest, figuratively-speaking.

Donating to charity is recession-proof.  That’s right; the monies given to charitable causes around the holidays will not recede along with the jobs at GM.  A woman interviewed by CBS radio news this morning explained that people still give to charity, and have planned on doing so all year long with an idea of how much they want to spend during the holidays.  According to Salvation Army research, donations don’t decrease because people’s budgets are stretched thin. 

This means that even through our whining about high gas prices, we have been aware that there are people who are far less fortunate than we are.  The cans of green beans and corn, along with packed pumpkin for holiday pies, will not dwindle in food banks because we’ve taken a hit on our stock portfolios.  National translation?  We’re not as jaded as we thought we were.  We still give a shit about people going hungry, about abused animals, about children with cancer, and about research for cures for a variety of ills. 

What’s more, the net of people who traditionally give the most has widened in surprising ways.  Two years ago, John Stossel of ABC’s 20/20 did a segment that aired in December on charitable donations during the holidays.  According to ABC research, the people who donate the most usually have the least to give (proportional to their income), and it made all folks in the 35% tax bracket look like Ebenezer Scrooge.  The profile of the average person who donated the most monetarily was a Latino (or Hispanic) individual, who regularly attended church services, worked at least one full-time job, had children, and who took public transportation to work.  The segment of the population who gave the least, in proportion to their income?  White, upper class individuals who made more than $250,000 a year.

That has apparently changed.  Since 2007, more people who fall into higher tax brackets have been regularly making larger monetary donations, as well as spending more volunteer time with organizations they feel are deserving.  Did Stossel shame richer people into giving?  Maybe, especially if they watched that episode.  And even though we have been alerted that people with incomes over $250,000 will be taxed more, we apparently don’t let it affect our donations.

When public service announcements were first aired drawing attention to the animal victims of Hurricanes Katrina and Ike, charitable donations skyrocketed – and animals were adopted (and reunited with owners) by the thousands.  Typically animal rights organizations have to shake the Donations Tree much more frequently than other charities, because once the storm has passed, people forget that animal shelters are a year-round endeavor, not a natural disaster venue. 

But nothing has affected the way we give in 2008, and how much we give, as much as the home mortgage crisis.  We are very aware there are whole families who are homeless, as well as their pets.  The month of May in 2008 saw an increase in pet shelters of 25% alone, and shelter operators attribute it to families who simply couldn’t keep a pet because they’d been foreclosed on their homes.  Entire families now live in their vehicles in parts of the country – and because we were alerted to how bad the situation is for people who’ve had to foreclose, we’re donating to charities like the Salvation Army and Goodwill, city homeless shelters and church food banks instead of buying gifts for ourselves.

Feel better?  If not, then here’s a list of some great organizations that benefit from even $10.00.  I don’t pull for any one particular organization, but these are reputable and won’t be using donated funds for massages in Rio.

• www.heifer.org, an organization that helps people learn animal care, husbandry, and sharing, in order to feed entire villages.  This’ll make you feel not so guilty when you’re carving into a Thanksgiving turkey.
• www.theanimalrescuesite.com, dedicated to animal rescue.  Even rabbits get help.
• www.salvationarmy.org.  “There but for the Grace of God go I…”
• www.opgratitude.com, a non-profit out of California that puts boxes of sundries and holiday cheer together for soldiers overseas, entirely through donations and volunteer time.  Last count, there were over 25,000 boxes ready to be shipped – and are sitting in a warehouse in L.A. because they’re out of postage funds.
• www.foundation.cancer.org, the charitable foundation of the American Cancer Society

But if these aren’t what you’re looking for, you can always search online for a charity or charitable institution that means something to you – and truly give thanks for what you have.

But Bush won’t go noiselessly, and apparently neither will his dog, Barney.  He clomped a Reuters White House reporter who stupidly went straight for Barney’s face to pet him without speaking first to him.  This idiot deserved the bite from Barney – I wouldn’t get near a Scottie without first getting it to wag its tail and investigate my closed hand.  http://scottishterrierdogs.blogspot.com/2008/11/video-of-scottish-terrier-barney-biting.html

And aren’t you glad you’re not living in Montecito, California?  Look what happens when you mix single-digit humidity with Santa Ana winds:  http://www.nytimes.com/slideshow/2008/11/14/nytfrontpage/20081114pod_index.html

I feel badly for those people who lost their beautiful homes in a beautiful part of the country. 

Oh, and I’ve confirmed that there’s a special place in hell reserved for the Georgia teenagers who used a kitten as a football.  One of his legs was amputated as a result, but he’s doing fine otherwise.  I’d adopt him in a heartbeat, but my cat Mao would kick my ass from here to San Diego and back.  In other words, I wouldn’t subject a three-legged kitten to a jealous bruiser like him, not after what he’s been through.  He is adorable, though – know any softies who might want to adopt him?  http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2008/11/13/waugh.ga.cat.used.as.football.wjxt

But this blog isn’t about extending grim karma out into the universe.  I’d rather think that change has happened, all for the good, with

• the election of Obama to the Presidency.  Finally, a President who can actually think for himself and string together a coherent sentence
• the American government will finally get real about what kind of debt we’ll owe after 2008, now that it’s public that it low-balled the bail-out estimate
• Barney will gladly greet people who greet him first, and the Reuters reporter won’t try that same stunt with the Obama dog
• Montecito residents can afford homeowner’s insurance and will rebuild, creating jobs for people who are desperate to work in California
• that sweet kitten will be adopted by someone with a huge heart, someone like Sandra Bullock who has a propensity for adopting pets with physical problems; his adoption is guaranteed after showing the video on CNN.  He will be loved and cared for the rest of his days, bless his little heart.  At the very least, I hope that seeing this video will give someone a reason to not kick the cat when they come home from a bad day at the office.

Change CAN happen, even if it is slow to arrive.

             Thanksgiving:  In short order, I have cut to the chase and written down my entire Thanksgiving menu for this year for all of you who are bored with your regular recipes.  If you want to be a copycat, I am truly flattered!!  -The recipes are being posted early, in case anyone wants to have time to get to the store before the day itself is upon us.  I’ll talk about being grateful for what I have more towards the actual day. 

I wanted to do a different turkey this year, so I am cooking a Moroccan bird.  If you’re copying this, here’s the best piece of advice I can give someone:  Make your preserved lemons now, so that they have time to sit around and, well, preserve.  It won’t be a Moroccan turkey without them, and pickled or dried lemons are NOT the same.  Preserved lemons are typically made at least a month in advance, but you can cheat with two-week-old lemons, or even one-week-old lemons in a pinch.

Preserved lemons:  Cut the ends off 6 whole lemons, and blanche for 1 minute in briskly-boiling water.  Dump the water and let them cool a little, then cut into quarters lengthwise.  Cut out the strip of pith down the cross-section, and remove all seeds.  Place in a bowl with 2/3 c. kosher salt, and toss.  Not all the salt will dissolve, but this is okay.  Place everything in a jar with a lid that seals tight, packing them down, and top with the juice of two more lemons.  Cover everything with ¼ c. olive oil, seal tightly, and place in refrigerator.  Shake or spoon things around inside the jar every few days.  They should be perfect by Thanksgiving if you make them now.  They’ll keep for about 6 months.

Dindon aux olives (Moroccan turkey with olives):  If you truly hate green olives, you can leave them out of the cooking process and add them to the platter when you present the turkey.  Pre-heat the oven to 475º.  Make a tent out of heavy-duty aluminum foil for the bird and roaster, one that can be crimped down to avoid any heat or steam loss.  Place 2/3 c. olive oil in the bottom of a turkey roaster (NOT an aluminum foil roasting pan – too dangerous when loaded with entire bird and drippings), and swirl to coat bottom evenly.  Rub down your bird with kosher salt in the sink and make sure not to overlook the two body cavities.  Rinse and pat dry, and place the turkey into the pan.   Add to the bottom of the pan: 1 chopped onion, 2 pieces preserved lemon, 4 cloves smashed garlic (smash with the bottom of a weighted drinking glass), 6-8 cracked green olives, and a few handfuls of chopped cilantro.  Place inside the bird’s main cavity: 4 pieces of preserved lemon, 1 bunch of washed and dried cilantro, ½ tsp. ground saffron threads (a mortar and pestle work well), 4 cloves smashed garlic, and 4 or 5 cracked green olives.  Ignore the other cavity by the neck.  Sprinkle bird minimally with kosher salt and a few grindings of black pepper.  Now go back and use anti-bacterial cleaner on your hands and sink.

Place your bird into the oven and let it roast at 475 for 15 minutes.  Then turn the heat down to 325.  For the first quarter of the turkey’s cooking time, let it cook with no tent.  Baste, and tent for the next (second) quarter of the cook time.  Crimp the foil tightly so that nothing escapes the pan.  At the beginning of the third quarter, add ½ tsp. ground saffron threads to the drippings, baste, and leave the tent off.  Baste once more during this time.  Baste at the beginning of the fourth quarter and baste two more times before pulling the bird out.  It should have a slightly yellow tinge to it because of the saffron, but that’s just fine.

Gravy:  If you choose to make gravy out of these drippings, add turkey stock rendered from boiling the giblets and neck, and commercial chicken stock.  Use the gizzard and liver if you insist (I don’t, but it’s not giblet gravy unless you have the actually giblets in there).  I use the smashed cloves of garlic from the pan and the bird cavity, and I put in two of the cooked pieces of preserved lemon into the gravy as it cooks, then remove them before pouring it out into a gravy boat. I even use the cilantro from the cavity if there’s any to coarsely chop.  Gravy goes fast and any leftovers will go fast, too, so I wind up throwing in everything I’ve got laying around into it to make more.  I use all the giblet stock, all my pre-fab chicken stock, all the drippings (minus most of the oil), the bag of ersatz gravy mix that comes with the bird, and I always, always buy packets of gravy mix, just in case something goes wrong (burned roux, lumpy gravy, even knocked-over gravy all over the kitchen floor).  In any case, you’ll have awesome lemony, garlicky, saffron turkey gravy that will be a huge hit.

Remember thinking Wondra flour was a cheap cheat for cooks who didn’t know what they were doing in the kitchen?  I happen to know what I’m doing in a kitchen, so it’s embarrassing how many times I’ve made lumpy gravy.  I use Wondra now.  Introduce it well and thoroughly into some of the turkey stock, and it will thicken anything, with zero lumps.  Add a little cream or milk, about ½ cup, and salt and pepper.  Get someone else whose palate you trust to taste the gravy – you’ll have dined off the smell at this point – and adjust the seasonings accordingly.  Bon appétit with the turkey and gravy!  It’s really something special.

“Real old” cornbread dressing:  This recipe is from my friend Michael’s grandmother, who got it from her mother, and so on and so on.  I think it dates back to the Civil War (notice I didn’t write “Civil War Cornbread Dressing” – it’s way more politic to write “real old”), and it’s historic.  I’ve jazzed it up, though, probably to the dismay of Michael, but to my great delight, because the basic recipe is so good.  Before you start on it, make a pan (cake pan-sized) of cornbread at your convenience and use no sugar.  

 Break up a pan of cornbread and add half a bag of commercial cornbread stuffing mix.  Lighten everything up with 2 or 3 torn-up biscuits, maybe a few torn-up heels of old white bread, or even some saltine crackers.  You’ll be eyeballing everything, but don’t worry – it’ll be fine.  Throw in what is old, not moldy, and don’t use whole-wheat bread – it doesn’t taste good with cornbread. 

Cook 8 oz. traditionally-seasoned ground sausage.  Add to this one chopped-up onion and two stalks of chopped celery.  Cook everything together until the onions caramelize a little bit.  Pour everything over the bread, including the pan juices, and add 1 c. finely-chopped Italian flat-leaf parsley and 2/3 c. finely-chopped fresh sage.  Heat 4 cups of chicken stock and pour over everything.  It should be “juicy”, so if you need a 5th cup of stock, put it in.  You can’t have enough liquid for cornbread dressings!  Add salt and pepper to taste (about a teaspoon of salt and ½ tsp. pepper), taste to see if you need to add more sage (either fresh or dried at this point), and then add 3 beaten eggs.  Pour into a greased pan and bake at 350 about 40 minutes. 

Spinach-avocado-grapefruit salad:  I’ve lived in California for about 12 years now, so I’ve discovered some interesting ways to use avocados.  This salad is unusual, even weird to some people, but it works and is a nice departure from the same-old same-old.  Allow 3-4 pieces of grapefruit and the same of avocado for each person.  Peel your grapefruit and remove the pith with a paring knife.  Slice in between the section membranes and pull each piece out of the center.  Make sure no seeds are present, and place on top of a bed of fresh baby spinach.  Add the avocado slices last (and make sure you add them right before you serve it; otherwise, they turn brown and yucky), pour on the poppy seed dressing, and toss very, very gently, leaving the avocado pieces intact.  Good luck in pairing a wine with it – I think I’d serve it with ice water.

Poppy seed dressing: 

3 T. chopped onion
2/3 cup vinegar
1 cup granulated sugar
2 tsp. dry mustard
2 tsp. salt
2 cups vegetable oil (NOT olive oil)
3 T. poppy seeds

In a blender, blend 3 T. chopped onion and 1/3 c. white vinegar until smooth.  Add the 1 c. sugar, 2 tsp. dry mustard, 2 tsp. salt, and another 1/3 c. of vinegar.  Add the oil in a thin stream until the mixture is thick, and add the poppy seeds last.

Alternative root slaw:  Grate up a package of peeled sunchokes (about 2 cups), and grate an entire bulb of celery root, about 3 cups.  Add 1 c. grated carrot, and dress immediately.  Mix together: ½ c. mayonnaise, ½ c. light sour cream, ½ c. milk or buttermilk, ½ tsp. salt, 3 T. fresh thyme, a few grindings of black pepper, and ¼ of a grated onion.  Adjust seasonings to taste.  You’ll find this slaw soaks up dressing more than regular cole slaw, so you might have to make a little bit more dressing.

Green bean casserole:  I don’t know why I’m putting this in here, but you never know – someone may need the amounts.  Mix together 3 cans of drained French-cut green beans with 1 can of drained mushroom pieces and 2 cans of cream of chicken soup.  Add a scant 3/4 c. of chicken stock.  Mix well.  My friend Michael’s trick is to add ½ a large can of fried onion pieces to the wet ingredients.  Add the other ½ of the can to the top of the casserole about half-way through the baking period.  Isn’t it 30 minutes at 350º?  Shout out if I’m wrong.

Connecticut cranberry chutney: Given to me by my lovely friend Anna Hauer Zelinsky.  Boil ½ c. white sugar and 1 c. brown sugar in 1 c. water and dump an entire bag of picked-over cranberries into it.  Cook, stirring constantly, until the cranberries all pop.  Take off heat and add ½ c. chopped dried apricots, ½ c. golden raisins, ½ tsp. cinnamon, ½ tsp. ground cardamom, ½ tsp. grated nutmeg, and 2 tsp. orange zest.  Stir well.  Add 2 T. dark rum and ½ c. coarsely-chopped pecans.  This is all mine; where’s yours??   What do you mean, share?!? 

Pear crisp:  Core and cut up 8 pears of your choice and toss with ½ c. sugar, 1 T. cinnamon, a pinch of salt, and 2 T. flour.  Pour all into a semi-deep baking pan (like a lasagne pan).  With your fingertips, work together 1 c. brown sugar, 1 c. flour, and 1 softened stick of butter until it’s crumbly.  Strew the streusel (!)over the top of the pears, and bake at 350º for 35-45 min.  This is great with cinnamon ice cream or pumpkin pie ice cream.

Maple coffee:  I have been introduced to Cohas maple coffee, roasted in New Hampshire.  I’m ordinarily not a fan of flavored coffees, but I’m convinced now that the flavors of coffee and maple are so unique, and so uniquely suited to each other, that I can’t say enough good things about them.  The coffee beans are roasted with maple syrup, and the result is aromatic and very pleasing.  If you don’t want to buy some from www.cohascoffee.com, try this:  add 1 tsp. maple extract to fresh coffee grounds before brewing (1 tsp. per whole pot of coffee; ½ tsp. per half-pot), and provide maple syrup as a sweetener for the coffee.  Alternatively, whip ½ tsp. maple extract into heavy whipping cream with a tablespoon or two of superfine sugar for a twist on traditional Chantilly cream, or what the Viennese call “Schlagobers” on their coffee.  To die for.

Whatever you do and wherever you are, have a very happy and restful Thanksgiving.  If you have any questions about anything, email me at: caroline91201@peoplepc.com.

1.  Voting machines.  Yeah, the lines are long, and people are enormously patient this year; but what if Joe Voter waits 5 hours to vote tomorrow, only to have his ballot disqualified because the machine didn’t read it correctly or broke down altogether?  Talk about being pissed off.  I wouldn’t blame him if he went mental on the election officials at his precinct.

2.  Polls.  Polling sites like Real Clear Politics have accurate polling – of people who own land lines.  Virtually none of the 18-35s have been polled because they all own cell phones, and therefore haven’t been asked how they’ll vote.  These young whippersnappers have become the collective wild card of the election.  There’s no telling how many votes they’ll cast.  Bottom line: we won’t know anything accurate until it’s all over. 

3.  Pundit fears.  The talking heads are wringing their hands over whether the 18-35s will even motivate to vote.  Just as James Carville said “it’s the economy, stupid,”  so say I:  they’ll vote, you freaks.  Students are every bit as busy as working folks and nowhere near the Slackazoids they were 15 years ago.  I can’t begin to count how many politically-active and thoughtful people I know who are college students – and they’ll turn out in droves tomorrow.

4.  Toss-up states.  Those pesky toss-up states, like Missouri and Ohio, where voting machines are squirrely, will have surprising returns.  My bet is placed on North Carolina being the most problematic.  (At least I’m on the West coast and stand a better chance of learning who’s been elected before midnight than my peers in the East do.  See #1 above.)

5.  Inner racists.  These assholes answer polls one way and then vote another.  It’s the worst kind of racist to be, as far as racists go: sneaky, conniving, unproductive, deceitful, just plain wrong.

6.  The Undecideds.  More and more, I’m convinced voters who are undecided won’t vote.  More to the point, if you can’t decide who you’re voting for the day before this particular election, you’re retarded.  It’s not like these two candidates are strikingly similar in their platforms and views.  Not only are the Undecideds still waffling, they’re more apt to vote for the candidate who doesn’t accurately reflect their views (Time Magazine, 10/11/08).  I guess they can contemplate having their name then legally changed to “the Stoopids,” but they can’t decide on that, either.

And P.S.:  why is it that almost 25% of Texans think Obama is a Muslim?  Still, to this day?  When even John McCain set the record straight at one point in his campaign about Obama?  Why do Republicans literally make up all these things about their opponents?  Communist, Socialist, Muslim, terrorist…it’s like a 21st-century re-write of Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy.  The average conservative in this country couldn’t identify a Socialist from a Sunkist if their life depended on it.

Enough.  Go vote.  Have faith.  Be happy.  And as Bill Maher eloquently put it on the last installment of his show, “…and with the grace of Allah, Comrade Obama, along with his Nubian armies, will usher in a new age of Socialism and gay marriage.” 

Obama-Oh-Eight

Roast two heads of garlic in the oven.  Use a little water and olive oil to keep it from sticking to the plate, and let it go for about 40 min. at 350.  Squeeze one head (all the cloves) from their paper, smash it up well, and add to:

4 c. beef stock – 2 T. chopped fresh thyme (or 1 T. dried) – 1 bay leaf – ¼ c. cream – salt & pepper

Bring all to a boil and thicken with 3 T. flour that have been introduced into some of the soup base – whisk it well and get out all lumps!  Allow the soup to thicken and taste.  If it tastes too puny, add more smashed roasted garlic (this is why you roast TWO heads) and more salt.  Eat with the remaining cloves spread on bread and a good beer or dry Italian white wine.

Note:  this does not work with refrigerated chopped garlic.  Roasting mellows garlic and the soup will NOT be the same.

Happy Halloween!